Seriously, everyone: Today I pushed the door close button in an elevator and the doors *closed.* I believe I can fly!
Does everyone have the Flying Fantasy? Maybe not. Sometimes I think I’m the only person in the world who doesn’t have the Superhero Fantasy, in which it is up to me to save everyone from mass destruction. That’s way too stressful for me.
I once heard that when Japanese men were asked what they wanted to be most in the world, a common response was ‘able to fly’. (In the interests of good blogging I just tried to find the link, but whenever I try to find something out about Japan I get caught in a link hole because there are so many bizarro things about Japan; it’s like the old days when I went to look up a word in the dictionary and read about all these other interesting words I never knew existed and forgot which word I was meant to be looking up in the first place. In short, that study I just remembered might be total fabrication.)
My four-year-old daughter definitely has the Flying Fantasy; she likes to pick up the feathers of sulphur crested cockatoos on our walks. She holds one in each hand and ‘flies’ across the grass, flapping her arms. A harmless pursuit, except there was a plush pillow-sized number of feathers scattered on the side of the road this evening. I didn’t pass this on, but I’m pretty sure a poor old cockatoo got hit by a car in that very spot. A cockatoo’s death seems particularly eventful to me because they live so long.
If I had to be something other than human I think I’d come back as a bird. I could get used to worms and grubs. Probably a cockatoo, because the worst thing about being a cockatoo seems to be the nightly bitch-fight for a good perch on the tree. They say those birds are smart. Yet every single freaking night they argue loudly about where they’re going to sit. If they were proper smart you’d think they’d have evolved some sort of ballot system by now. Also, I’d definitely crap on a few black Ford utes. That shit is acidic.
MY FLYING PLAYLIST
The audio equivalent of growing a pair of wings:
1000 Miles – Robeck
Flying – Nice Little Penguins
This Little Bird – I like the Tex Perkins cover
Talihina Sky – Kings of Leon
Ghost Riders In The Sky – Johnny Cash & Willie Nelson
Kaze ni naritai (I Want To Be The Wind – sounds better in Japanese) – The Boom
song starts at about 1:30 in
Fly by Ludovico Einaudi
Other Links About Flying
2. NO FEAR OF FLYING: KAMIKAZE MISSIONS IN DEATH, SEX, AND COMEDY from McSweeneys
3. Airplanes: The Best Way To Travel If You Don’t Want To Die from Jezebel
4. Photographer Refuses To Reveal How She Made Her Baby Fly from io9. Fair enough.
5. Another photographer takes pictures of object flying in swarms, from Good Design
6. Flying People Spotted Over New York City, from Tech Crunch
7. I’m not sure if this is fake or not (!), but Man Flies Like A Bird Flapping His Own Wings reminds me of the time when I was about ten and spent an inordinate amount of time making my own wings out of paper and sellotape.
8. It is the future: here is your jetpack, from Tor.com
9. I Hate To Fly, Except That I Absolutely Love It, an essay at Persephone Mag, which sums flying up for me too.
10. The Best Resources For Learning About Flight from Larry Ferlazzo’s Websites Of The Day
11. Making The World’s Largest Airline Fly from Business Week
12. The Frequent Fliers Who Flew Too Much from LA Times
13. The Beauty Of The Airline Baggage Tag from Slate
14. A Peaceful Panorama Filmed From An Airplane Window from Laughing Squid
15. Flying Terrifies Me: Here Are 7 Tips On How People Think I Should Deal from The Frisky
16. Oops: United Airlines Forgets To Bring Toilet Paper On A 10-Hour Flight from The Frisky