The two least-friendly words in the English language: “friendly reminder.”
“Frankly”: adverb that allows English speakers a moment to soften the honest thing they had come too close to saying.
Just as we are only aware of the surface parts of one another’s minds, so are we only aware of the surface parts of one another’s behaviour. We see the polite part, the public part, and we can only speculate on what exists underneath. But usually if the surface part is conventional and well-mannered, we assume the rest to be also. Although what does that mean? How can we assume that a person’s secret self is equally conventional and well-mannered? If the inoffensiveness of one’s public self is created by fear, then it would seem possible that one’s private self could be anything at all.
– Stephen Dobyn, from The Church Of Dead Girlsw
Basic morality: don’t insult people based on race, gender, sexual orientation, disability, etc. Don’t use slurs to describe people, or as generic insults. Recognize the humanity of everyone.
Personal piety: examining language very careful and eliminating all words or images that have some sort of problematic connotation.
- Social skill: distinguishing between personal piety and basic morality, Social Skills For Autonomous People
The problem with puppy love from Role Reboot says a lot of interesting things about how we socialise little girls into being nice.
How girls are socialised to be likeable, from CNN
I do not want my daughter to be ‘nice’, from The New York Times parenting blog